I’ll Look for You
Losing a brother is like losing part of yourself– part of your childhood, your growing up, your everyday life. You grieve for yourself and for the future without him, but also for those who lost a friend, a teacher, an uncle. My brother Jim died last Monday night of a progressive and fatal lung disease. His decline over the last few weeks was precipitous and heartbreaking. I’m grateful that we shared many intimate and honest moments together, including on his final day. When I told him how much I would miss him, he looked at me and said, “You never know, I might be gone and then be right back with you.” This poem and page came about because of that.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and condolences.
I’ll look for you
In the flock of robins high in the walnut trees,
And in the now dry and curled beech leaves,
In the cold north wind accompanying my walk,
And in the silent spaces across which we talk,
In glistening sun on frosted grass,
And moon shadows glimpsed through evening glass.
I’ll look for you…
Because, who knows,
You might be right here after all,
Beside me.
As you said,
Gone and then right back again.
I’ll look for you.
Drawn In 
sending heartfelt condolences to you and all your family. The poem was beautiful and true.
Words just don’t do the job. My heart is sorry for your pain.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your words are so true, like losing a part of your childhood, a part of yourself. I hope you find solace and peace in nature and family and friends like me who care about you!
Love,
Leigh Ann
Thank you Leigh Ann. I appreciate you reaching out.
I appreciate your words, Jean, and I am right there with you. I lost one brother 2 years ago…and the other just 3 months ago. Besides the loss of their love, you must reckon with the idea that you’re the only one left…and you’re no longer able to compare or confirm childhood memories. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My condolences to you too. I’m sorry that you are the only one left of your siblings– that is hard indeed. I am one of seven, so we remain a large and united tribe. I just never imagined I would lose a brother so young. It’s a huge loss…as you know.
Oh, Jean.
Tuck away these words by the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore:
Death is not the extinguishing of the light, it is the putting out of the lamp because the dawn has come.
Peace.
Thank you for those insightful words. I’m sure there will be many times in the days ahead when I will need them.
What a lovely tribute to your brother, Jean. Thank you for sharing this with your Drawn In community. I hope that you find comfort in the loving care that surrounds you today n every side. ❤️Robin
Thank you Robin. The support of this community has been amazing.
My deepest sympathy. I have 3 brothers and I feel blessed every day that they are still here with me. Our clocks are ticking…. Thank you for sharing the lovely poem.
Hold each other close!
When the One You Love becomes a Memory, that Memory becomes a Treasure. Take care.
Thank you.
It’s a beautiful testament, the beech leaves and poem speaking volumes, your brother’s words echoing through it. The must be so hard, Jean, I’m really sorry.
Take care. You’ve done a wonderful thing here.
Putting grief out into the world and getting love and support back is a wonderful thing. Thank you so much.
Absolutely, and you’re very welcome.
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Jean,
struggling for words…I could not respond until now. Even now, words can’t convey my heartfelt sympathy for your profound loss.
May you find the peace you seek from memories dear to your heart. Treasured memories of a dear brother cannot be erased.
May God light the path before you and bring you comfort. …bernadette
Every part of this touched my heart. I’m so sorry for your loss. Loosing a sibling is so hard. You’ve created a beautiful memorial with your poem and beech leaf painting.
My condolences, Jean. Such a deep loss on so many levels. Your poem is beautiful and brought tears.
Thank you so much.
My sincere condolences Jean. Thank you for this very personal and moving message. I’m sure you touched many people who understand this pain and take comfort in these words. You touched me.
Jean, What beautiful words for your journey. My prayers are with you for courage, strength, comfort and peace as you feel him beside you.
Your artwork and words are always so meaningful. We met at one of your workshops in Killington VT several years ago. My friend (VA) and I (NY) travelled to learn from you.
Warmest Regards, Lori
Hi Lori- Thanks so much for thinking of me and reaching out. I am grateful for your prayers and kind wishes– all needed! Wishing you a joyful holiday season! — Jean